Are you a trustworthy Sarah or an intimidating Alexandra?

Since you can definitely tell everything (and by everything we mean pretty much nothing) about a person by their name, BuzzFeed asked six guys what they think a woman’s name says about her. Naturally, the resulting commentary was totally arbitrary — but pretty damn funny.

Example A of the non-factual-but-hilarious commentary in the video had to do with Jessicas vs. Jessies: “Jessicas are mean. Jessies, are immediately a different person,” said one dude.

When the name Olivia came up, all of the guys agreed that Olivias are strong leaders. “Olivias are powerful, power house women,” one dude said. We’re pretty sure this is a direct result of the “Scandal” character Olivia Pope being a straight boss.

In conclusion: Stay away from Jacquelines and if you have kids, name one of them Taylor — apparently they all turn out to be good-looking.

Check out BuzzFeed’s video of what women think of men’s names below. (Spoiler alert: “All Brandons are best friends.”)