Whether you’re single, in a relationship or adrift in the sea known as “It’s complicated,” just be happy if you can’t relate to any of these dating snafus.

The Twitter hashtag #WorstDateIn5Words was a trending topic on Thursday and prompted thousands of tweets from people who have lived to tell the tale of dates gone wrong — as well as people who can write a good 5-word joke about one.

From seriously awkward conversation starters (“I’m not racist but…”) to levels of discomfort we can only imagine (“His ankle bracelet started beeping”) and some clever nods to dating in the movies (“Titanic”), here are some of the funniest #WorstDateIn5Words tweets the Internet had to offer:

Men’s Rights Activist

“I’m a Men’s Rights Activist.”

#WorstDateIn5Words

— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) December 18, 2014

His Mom Bought Dinner

His mom paid for dinner. #WorstDateIn5Words

— Jenna Amatulli (@ohheyjenna) December 18, 2014

Hemingway Off Base

#WorstDateIn5Words For Sale: baby shoes – worn.

— Jesse Neil (@JTrainNeil) December 18, 2014

Flashback To 2012

#WorstDateIn5Words “I voted for Mitt Romney”

— coolgal518 (@quintywinties) December 18, 2014

IT’S A TRAP

#WorstDateIn5Words
“Does this smell like chloroform”

— Brett (@Brett_B_) December 18, 2014

Oh, Baby

“I think my water broke.” #WorstDateIn5Words

— Michael Kimmel (@mkimml) December 18, 2014

[Shiver]

“Let’s go see One Direction” #WorstDateIn5Words

— Andrien Gbinigie (@EscoBlades) December 18, 2014

That Never Ends Well

I’m not a racist but #WorstDateIn5Words

— Bridie Jabour (@bkjabour) December 18, 2014

Neither Does This

“White people experience racism, too!” #WorstDateIn5Words

— SocialJusticeKrieger (@UnseenPerfidy) December 18, 2014

Three’s A Crowd

She brought her boyfriend along #WorstDateIn5Words pic.twitter.com/ZLh6gRZPbD

— Rich Mason (@heyitsRichMason) December 18, 2014

Gotta Stay Moisturized

“Lotion goes in the basket.” #WorstDateIn5Words

— TODD SPENCE (@Todd_Spence) December 18, 2014

Damn You, Chris Hardwick

Sorry, hang on – hashtag war… #WorstDateIn5Words

— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) December 18, 2014

Check, Please!

Hey, where’d my kidney go? #WorstDateIn5Words

— Bryan Behar (@bryanbehar) December 18, 2014

Every Rose For Herself

Boat sank, wouldn’t share raft!! #WorstDatein5Words pic.twitter.com/I80dGnALBa

— Joey to the World! (@joemessin) December 18, 2014

I’ll Show You My Record If You Show Me Yours

#WorstDateIn5Words
“Who DOESN’T have a felony?”

— Roger Craig Smith (@RogerCraigSmith) December 18, 2014

Tough Roomie Sitch

“Ah, here’s my roommate: Mom.” #WorstDateIn5Words

— Ethan Fixell (@EthanFixell) December 18, 2014

Whoops, Gotta Run!

#WorstDateIn5Words His ankle bracelet started beeping

— PaulaInTulsaOK (@PaulaInTulsaOK) December 18, 2014

Hat Game Level: Zero

#WorstDateIn5Words the guy wore a fedora

— Jennette McCurdy (@jennettemccurdy) December 18, 2014

‘Nuff Said

Two more testicles than expected. #WorstDateIn5Words

— Uncle D.L. (@VeryHeavyUncle) December 18, 2014

“Ghostbusters” Rules

There’s no Dana. Only Zuul. #WorstDateIn5Words pic.twitter.com/zr92II8c6e

— Stay Puft (@staypuft) December 18, 2014