They come crawling back for you every four years.

Your best friends can usually spot a bad boyfriend a mile away. He reads all your emails and text messages. He constantly borrows money. He starts fights and gets involved in fights he shouldn’t. Oh damn, you know what? … AMERICA is exactly like a bad boyfriend.

The good folks at CollegeHumor, who’ve brought us comedy staples like “If Google Was A Guy,” show us just how f’d up Americans’ relationship with their country really is.