Tons of retro dating advice has gone out of style over the years, but there’s one custom we have yet to do away with: The dude always asking the lady on a date.

In two new videos, BuzzFeed attempted to tackle this unwritten rule by asking women and men who they prefer to initiate the dating process, and if there’s really anything bad about a woman doing it. In the above video, most of the women said they’ve asked guys out before and all agreed that the issue isn’t really a big deal. If you like someone, tell them.

One woman summed up the question when she said, “Why does a guy have to control it? If you’re freaking dating this guy or girl you should be like ‘I just want to spend time with you.’ What’s wrong with that?” Preach.

When BuzzFeed asked guys how they felt about the issue, they were a bit more divided. In the below video, almost all the guys said they’re usually the ones to ask a woman on a date. And while they agreed there’s nothing wrong with a woman doing the asking, most had never been asked out before.

One guy in the video said that it really wouldn’t be a big deal for a woman to ask him out, “I wish women would be like, ‘Let’s just go out.’ And I’d be 10 times more likely to buy her a nicer dinner.” Sounds like a good deal to us.

When BuzzFeed asked men if it was socially acceptable for a woman to ask a man on a date, one guy’s answer was on point: “Everything’s acceptable excepting hurting other people or treating people like they’re different because of who they are.” Real talk.

So ladies, if you want your man (or woman) go get your man (or woman).