If you want solid, honest advice about the divorce process, go directly to the source. No, not your divorce attorney — divorcés themselves. Who better to counsel you through the tough, sometimes crazy-making times than someone who’s lived through all of it and come out stronger?

Below, HuffPost Divorce readers on Facebook and Twitter share the one piece of advice that meant the most to them during the divorce process.

1. “Take the high road. I took it every single time. Even when it was difficult, it was always so worth it.”

2. “Never trash talk your ex in front of the kids. You may be exes now, but your kids just see you as their parents.”

3. “Mourn. Mourn the death of your marriage like you would a loved one and mourn the husband you thought you knew.”

4. “Focus fifty percent on kids and fifty percent on yourself. Don’t forget that self-care is important, too.”

5. “Conduct yourself in a way you can be proud of later on, when the divorce is over.”

6. “Know that your decision to hang on to hurt, anger and bitterness adds no value to your life or your kids’ lives.”

7. “You need a good friend. One of my best friends told me, ‘When you feel the urge to call him, call me instead.’ She was my voice of reason during my divorce.”

8. “My attorney sent me the ‘Let it Go’ music video from ‘Frozen.’ And that’s exactly what you need to do. You need to let it go. I focused on my kids. I tried to be amicable and make sure I was honest and ignored the rumors.”

9. “Find someone that offers real, honest advice. Someone I know told me, ‘I’m sorry this happened to you. This is going to suck for a long time’ and it was refreshing to hear. It lifted a huge weight off my chest. People had been telling me things like, ‘You’ll get through this and you’re so strong!” when all I wanted to hear was the brutal honest truth.”

10. “Love your children more than you hate your ex.”

11. “Stay classy in court — and rant all about it in the company of good friends later.”

12. “Fight only for things that cannot be replaced, like the kids. The rest is just stuff, completely immaterial.”

13. “Remember that you have to live with yourself after the divorce, so take pride in what you say and do.”

14. “Know that you deserved better than what your ex gave you.”

15. “Focus on the kids. Be a guard rail they can safely bump up against when the divorce process seems like it might derail them. Be the safe spot they can run to so they don’t go over the edge.”

16. “Let go and let your lawyer do their job.”

17. “Listen to your gut. Take those baby steps toward learning to trust yourself again.

18. “Be in control of yourself and how you act during the process. Make sure you have boundaries, especially if there weren’t any in the marriage.”

19. “Don’t expect anything you didn’t receive during the marriage. If it didn’t happen then, it won’t happen during the divorce process.”

20. “Pick your battles. Some things just aren’t worth the fight.”

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